Confidence

Andrea Chilcoteby Andrea Chilcote

I’m embarking on a dangerous project. I am seeking the source of confidence in successful people’s lives, and in doing so I am breaking open a puzzle that I began to try to solve some ten years ago. My question then was (and still is now) – what is the interchange between confidence, commitment and results? Which comes first, a commitment so ardent to some outcome that, when achieved, builds my confidence for the next? Or does a smooth, confident knowing that what I intend must come to be by virtue of sheer consciousness, precede all other states of being? I’m betting on the latter.

It’s a dangerous mission because even Wikipedia seems to warn of the fine line confidence walks:

Confidence is generally described as a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective. Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself. Arrogance or hubris in this comparison, is having unmerited confidence—believing something or someone is capable or correct when they are not. Overconfidence or presumptuousness is excessive belief in someone (or something) succeeding, without any regard for failure. Confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy as those without it may fail or not try because they lack it and those with it may succeed because they have it rather than because of an innate ability.

Consider your current heart’s desire, the one that’s real. On a scale of 1 to 10, how committed are you? Now, using the same scale, how confident are you?

If your commitment is 10 and your confidence is, say, 7, then I’ll suggest you have a 70% chance of success. If on the other hand, your confidence is a 10 (really a 10), I’m betting on you.

Right now, it’s all educated hypothesis. From my own experiences and my observation of others, I know that a deep, clear, settled knowing (confidence) can move mountains. Yesterday I met a woman who rejected her doctor’s conventional advice and risked her life in order to be true to what she knew, confidently, was the best course of treatment for a grave disease. Now, ten years later and fully healed, she knows it was her confidence in the right decision for her that enabled the result, vs. some “fight” or struggle for victory.

Stay tuned for the stories. And join me if you wish, as I embark on this journey of discovery.


This post appeared originally on The Spirited Woman where Andrea is a blogger. Enjoy it!

Show Up Each Moment

Are you looking back over 2013 this new year of 2014?

A timely reblog – This New Year, I vow to show up each moment.

Show Up Each Momentby Andrea Chilcote

On this summer holiday weekend, half-way through 2013, it seems fitting to reflect back on my resolve to “not look back.” Hmmm… is that an oxymoron?

I’m not looking back over 2012 this new year of 2013. In fact, I don’t intend to look back again. This new year, I vow to show up each moment.

On the weekend I was talking with teacher and life coach Lauri Cloud. Once again, she nearly knocked me over with a blinding insight. “You know what trips you up Andrea?” she offered. “You keep looking back.” She went on to say that the popular advice that seems to be showing up everywhere today, telling us to release everything from past regrets to deep-seated, age-old feelings, is the very thought pattern that is keeping us (and me) from rising above them.

That made a lot of sense to me. I have worked to stay present in the moment at hand for at least as long as I can remember. And like so many lessons, I keep learning it.

Well, I have a new practice. I resolve to not compare my present circumstances to past situations. I will embrace each experience as if it is new. Now that doesn’t mean I won’t utilize the precious experience gained. It simply requires me to release the fear that inevitably accompanies the comparison.

Almost at the very moment I gained this insight, life presented an opportunity to practice my resolve, as life on earth does so often.

In the post-holiday days when many are easing themselves into the routine of their lives, I’ve been very busy with a combination of work and personal commitments. It’s the kind of time I’ve come to describe as “no room for error” – everything is planned and will work out fine providing nothing interrupts the schedule.

Dear reader, you know my next line. The plan was interrupted, by circumstances that surpassed its urgency.

So what did I do? I did what I know to be the only choice for me: prioritize the heart over the head. What I did not do was flawlessly execute my goal of being present and not looking back. As a result, I experienced ample stress. But here is the gem, the gold. Not one fear that was rooted in the past or future mattered in the end. The only times I was productive, at peace and of service to others were those moments in which I was present.

Why then, I ask myself – and you… why would we choose anything other than the present moment in this grand New Year?

This voice in your head takes you away completely from what is happening now. You’re out in some future moment where things might go wrong or you are trapped in the past where you are continuously replaying an old movie in your mind about the time you failed a school examination or someone said something unkind. You’re stuck, but you can’t see it. The movie feels like an absolute reality, and it keeps you from truly acknowledging or appreciating life as it is now. But it’s not reality. You can’t see the present. You’re too busy with where you want to be next (or where you were), which causes continual stress. The only solution is awareness, awareness that the voice in your head is really just repeating thoughts—no more, no less. Eckhart Tolle

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This post appeared originally on The Spirited Woman where Andrea is a weekly blogger.